Sex, Shame and Celebration

This is a tale of two women.

Woman #1: Judy. We meet through a third party. She goes for a walk in the neighborhood where Sheri and I live, and when I see her again she says, “Now I  know what you do for a living.” Sheri and I both have books on sex coming out in the next month and are having a big bash at a local venue celebrating the double launch. Judy sees a poster promoting this and suddenly I’ve become more interesting. Now I’m a guy who with his partner teaches and writes about a sex for a living. She is intrigued. We have a great and juicy conversation.

Woman #2. Danielle. I’ve known her for some time, dated her briefly back when and see her rarely now. Later that same day, I’m walking in town and see her and her boyfriend eating outside at a local restaurant. She bounces up, gives me a kiss and introduces me to her guy. I decide to give them postcards about our upcoming event. I live a few minutes’ walk away and go home to get them.

When I come back, Danielle explains to me that’s she told her partner about my prior work as a community networker and a writer about corporate social responsibility. “That was then,” I answer. “I’ve gone from the heat of climate change to the heat of sex. This is now. ”

And then I offer her and her guy postcards.

She waves her hands in front of her face as if I’d just tossed her a swarm of mosquitoes. “No, no, no,” she says, laughing nervously. “We’re not going to talk about that. We don’t want to hear about that.”

Alrighty then.

This isn’t only a tale of two women. It’s also a tale of two cultures, one sex-positive and the other sex-negative.

One reason I’m so proud of my partner Sheri’s new book, Succulent SexCraft, is because it takes such an uncompromisingly sex-positive stance. It’s an important conversation, in part because it’s not only about sex. It’s also about the human spirit. Do we have the right to be who we are? How should we feel about the deepest and most powerful aspects of our nature? Should we feel shame? Pride?

Two women, two answers.

Danielle—sex, shameful! Sex, something to flee and deny.

Judy—sex, interesting! Sex, something to approach with curiosity and delight.

Take a wild guess which woman I’d like a date with.

Take a wild guess which world I’d like a date with.

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