Entries by Carl Frankel

Bringing Life to a Dead Bedroom (Part Two)

In my first post on Dead Bedroom Syndrome, I talked about the merits of getting to having more sex by not directly setting out to have more sex. By aiming for intimacy and connection instead. By preparing the ground so the flowers of desire can bloom. Today I’m addressing a separate issue. What do you do when relationship […]

Bringing Life to a Dead Bedroom — Part Three

In my first two posts on Dead Bedroom Syndrome, I offered suggestions for getting past the challenge that arises when partners have discrepant sexual needs. In my first post, I recommended focusing on intimacy, connection and fun instead of confronting the sex challenge head-on. In the second, I proposed ditching the negotiation paradigm for mutual […]

The Continuum of the Heart

Intimacy is one of those feel-good words, like “community,” whose meaning we tend to take for granted. It’s a nuanced concept, though, and merits a closer look. So let’s do some unpacking … Intimacy has two components: authentic sharing, and empathetic reception. You can and often do have one without the other. Let’s say two […]

Sex, Shame and Celebration

This is a tale of two women. Woman #1: Judy. We meet through a third party. She goes for a walk in the neighborhood where Sheri and I live, and when I see her again she says, “Now I  know what you do for a living.” Sheri and I both have books on sex coming […]