We are mind and body. But it is not only our thoughts that affect how our bodies act and react. So do the higher-level patterns that define our personalities, that make us relatively hot-blooded or cold-blooded, compassionate or punitive, detached or engaged. We are mind, psyche and body, and the three are linked in a […]
A few days ago, I found myself watching a post-match interview with Roger Federer a/k/a God. I attend to his comments the way a spiritual seeker listens to a mountaintop guru. And God said, “I was tactically unsettled in this match. I wasn’t sure when to hit a rally ball, and when to go big.” […]
Tennis is an intensely visual game. You watch your opponent as they strike the ball, hoping to pick up the spin, pace and directionality of their shot, and of course you watch the ball, ideally with the laser-like focus of a hawk on its prey. But wait. We have other senses as well and they […]
For centuries if not longer, sex has been fraught. It’s seen as a rich, deep and mysterious experience, as one of the most powerful and significant experiences we humans can have. You go to bed with someone and who knows what will happen? Intense emotions may arise. Intense sensations may be felt. Hey—it just might drive you crazy. Yeah, she could […]
As I writer, I try to be sensitive to boundaries. This is true—but there’s another side of the coin, as is so often the case. As a writer, I waltz over boundaries all the time. In fact, it’s in my job description! Writers write. Readers read. There’s a big gap there. Good writers bridge it […]
I’m a writer. It friggin’ offends me when words are used in a slapdash way, all wrapping and no substance. ‘Spirituality’ is one of the terms that gets my goat. It means such different things to different people, and it often doesn’t really mean anything at all—it’s as hollow as a vain man’s ego. ‘Sacred sexuality’ is […]
Non-violent writing is a theme I suspect I’ll probably return to in the time ahead. I live with the topic constantly. Let’s start by unpacking what the term means to me. Non-violent writing is an odd phrase and indeed an odd notion. It suggests there’s such a thing as ‘violent writing,’ and what in the world is that? Our first […]
I’ll start with a radical statement: we are delusional, each and every one of us. Culturally delusional, too. How so? Because we have this notion of a single, unitary self when that’s not actually what we are. This has profound and subtle effects on how we are, and who we are, in our intimate relationships. […]
Love: the word means different things to different people—and different things to the same person at different times. What’s in a word? Here are some meanings of “love:” Erotic love. We all know what this one means. It’s what we mean when we say we’re “in love.” It’s “I want to have your babies”–or sometimes just […]
Woman walks into a cafe. She’s wearing a retro outfit with a stylish 40’s-era hat that bathes her face in shadow. She’s got great lines. She’s noir, pure film noir. I’m deep in thought and barely notice her. She acknowledges me, unsmiling, and passes by. Only then do I realize: I know this person and hadn’t recognized her because […]